Goodbye, My Almost Lover
by MysticStoryteller
Summary: Songfic. Snape meets Lily in the after-life and the two must try and gain closure. Will Snape admit his true feelings? Will forgiveness be attained? OneShot. Using the song "Almost Lover" by Fine Frenzy.


Disclaimer: As much as I want to, I don't own J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter. I also do not own the song "Almost Lover" by Fine Frenzy.

_A/N: Hey there everyone! I just randomly decided to write this for three reasons: The first is that I __love __the Snape/Lily ship. It might possibly be my favorite. The second reason is that I, like many others, felt the need for some closure between these two. I really felt like they would've needed to talk about things and sort out their feelings. Lastly, I'm tentatively working on a Snape/Lily fifth year fiction and I just wanted this as a warm up. It is also sort of a epilogue I guess. But not really. A few things before we start: One thing is that I know that something like this wouldn't ever really "happen." I believe in Heaven and Hell, there's really no in-between. But obviously, for this fic I needed it. Another is that, I may not portray Lily and Snape 'as you know them.' For one thing, I haven't ever written as them before, so I'm just trying to get the hang of them. For another, they have changed a lot; Lily is a bit more sad (though her playfulness is still there) and Snape, well Snape has had all these emotions bottled up inside and now he's finally letting them out. So, be forewarned :P. Um, originally I posted this as a Oneshot called "Fields of Reminisce" but when I heard the song "Almost Lover" I had to add it to this. Well, please do enjoy!_

"_After all, to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."_

-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

&.&.&.&.&

Snape closed his eyes, taking one last glimpse into the eyes of his lover's child. He had the exact same, emerald eyes as his mother. For a moment, Serverus had believed that it was Lily looking at him, but, as usual, it wasn't.

Before he knew it, the former death eater was everywhere and nowhere at once. He was floating through space and he dared not open his eyes. An unspoken question appeared in the back of his head and his feet searched for ground of any kind.

When he finally landed, he laid there for a moment, unwilling to face his eternal future. He'd thought much of Heaven and Hell after Lily's death but they'd always seemed so far away and he never worried much about which place Lily went to; she was practically an angel already. But Snape had always been silently concerned about his own future. He'd been so very in-between and most of his sins were unforgiven.

He finally opened his eyes to see the sun above him. He felt grass under him and wondered if this was the 'other side.' But when he lifted himself off the ground, he knew instantly where he was. Nearby was an old swing set, one that Serverus Snape had engraved in his memories.

It was here that he met Lily, here that his life had begun and here where his mind had visited often. He knew this place like a wizard knew his wand.

However, there was one vital thing that was missing in this whole scene, the one that had prevented him from returning to this place. "Lily…" Snape whispered, glad to have finally realized why he felt so empty. It was true; the land had no charm, no real beauty, no...joy without her. For a moment, a lone tear ran down the potion teacher's cheek. He wished fervently, more fervently (if that was possible) than usual, that she would be here, if only just to hold his hand for a moment.

He sat back, closing his eyes in order to see that face that was engraved in the back of his eyelids. It hurt momentarily, to see her but her beauty was so wonderful to behold. He learned that, even if it hurt to remember her, he needed to think of her. Sometimes, she gave him strength. Other times, he only felt guilty for making so many tactless choices.

"_Sev?" _The voice was quiet, but it startled Serverus not because it had disturbed the silence, but because it belonged to someone whom he had learned to accept as deceased.

_Your fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind, images_

_You sang my Spanish lullabies_

_The sweet sadness in your eyes, clever trick_

His eyes shot open, searching desperately around. "Lily?"His voice escaped in a murmured wisp. At first he saw no one.

But then, out of nowhere, someone appeared on the horizon. His heart began to race as the figure drew near, and a sudden hope rose in his chest. No matter how hard he tried, the passionate hope would not disappear.

And as the figure approached, his wish and slight fear became realized. As soon as he saw the flaming red hair, the delicate purse of her lips and the ferocity of her emerald eyes he knew that Lily Evans had come to his her old best friend.

Snape could barely believe his eyes. "Lily…? Is it really...you?"

She nodded. "It's me Sev." She seemed sad for some reason.

_Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy,_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

"Oh thank goodness!" He stood up, hugging her tightly. "I've missed you so much! I'm so-"

"You're dead Sev." She smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry."

He let his arms drop; he had been a fool. In his excitement, he had forgotten his current position: he was dead and so was Lily. "Is this-?"

"Heaven? No. Hell? Wrong again." Her smile was beginning to brighten a little. "This is what I call, a place in between. It's like a memory, forever held in space. I needed to talk to you, before you…left."

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

He nodded solemnly, understanding that she too knew they would soon be parted; it was like a sad reminder. "Lily…I've missed you so."

She sat down next to him. "Why did you do some of the things you did? Why were you so cruel to Harry?" She was very upset now, not angry, just desperate to know the truth.

Snape looked away. "Every time I looked in his eyes, I saw you. One part of me wanted to love this child as if he was my own. But then…I was rudely reminded of whose child he really was." He gritted his teeth bitterly.

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned to you_

_Should've known you'd bring my heartache_

_Almost lovers always do_

"Sev!" She placed a hand on his arm. "Please just let it go. I made my choice and I'm sorry you hated it. But…as they say 'it is better to have loved and lost, than not loved at all.'"

Severus scowled. "He didn't deserve you Lily. He was just a dim-witted git."

She cocked her head to the side, frustrated. "He seemed like that, I know but…he just…changed."

The potion master shook his head. "I don't believe that. And there was a time when you didn't either." He muttered.

_We walked along a crowded street_

_You took my hand and danced with me in the shade_

_And when you left, you kissed my lips_

_You told me you would never forget these images, no_

She sighed. "Things have changed, Sev. I'm sorry."

"You've changed Lily."

She grinned. "Oh, not that much. Death tends to put things in perspective." She sounded just like her old self again.

He chuckled quietly. "Maybe not so much." They sat there in silence for a while until Severus asked the question that had been burning on his mind. "Did he actually really love you?"

Lily huffed. "You can't just let it go, can you?"

_Well, I never wanted to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me_

"I only wanted to know." He looked away for a moment, gazing at the sun. "Besides," He turned back to her, taking her hands. "We're here, together, forever. No one can tear us apart."

She looked away. "I can't. I'm still married and…I don't feel that way about you." She met his eyes, feeling sorry for him.

"You mean you never felt anything for me?" He was desperate to know if she even loved him at all.

"I did once. But that was a long time ago."

_Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

They sat there for a moment, silent. Finally, Lily asked the question that had been burning on her mind. "How is he Severus?"

"Who?"

"Harry." She clutched onto his hand, desperate for news.

"I…I don't know." He murmured. "He was the last person I saw before I died." He sounded almost bitter. "He really does have your eyes."

"Oh Sev…he's grown so much. I'm so proud of him."

The wizard did not share her enthusiasm. "He is just like your dear husband. So selfish and-"

"Stop." Lily commanded. "We need to talk about this. Why are you so bitter?"

"Because I love you! Don't you understand? Every fiber of my being cried out for you and yet all you cared about was a self-centered Qudditch captain. I can guarantee he doesn't love you as I do." He took her in his arms and kissed her violently. She sat there, limp in his arms, unable to return his passion.

_I cannot go to the ocean_

_I cannot try the streets at night_

_I cannot wake up in the morning_

_Without you on my mind_

When finally his lips stopped their frantic message, Lily sighed as Severus put his arms around her. She put her hands on his chest. "I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry that I didn't love you. I'm sorry things didn't go they way you wanted. I'm sorry I ruined your life." She sniffed.

He held her tightly. "No, never. You _were_- you _are _my life."

They sat there, listening to the sounds around them and savoring the moment. Severus felt, strangely enough, at peace; even though Lily didn't love him, they could still bask in the care and forgiveness of the end.

When they finally broke apart, Severus asked "Will I ever see you again?"

She stood up, brushing herself off. "I'm not sure, Sev. I'm not sure. But don't worry." She grinned her signature grin "I'm always with you." And with that, she was gone, leaving the potions master to lie back and, possibly for the first time in years, smile.

_Goodbye, my almost lover…_

_&.&.&.&.&_

_A/N: So did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know what you think. Except, no flamers please. Just to let you know, I left some of the lyrics our. I usually hate doing that, but here I felt like I didn't have much room to put them all. Say "Granger" in your review if you have read my author notes. Thanks for reading and reviewing! _


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